Personally Knowing Him

We hear many different perceptions of how God is, but we can only truly know him when we seek to know him personally.

It’s just like knowing a friend. When you have a personal relationship with a person, you won’t believe all the lies other people may tell you about them.

A lot of Christians make it difficult, and sometimes impossible for people to know God. They say things about him that are made up notions. The fact that your father was a wicked man, does not mean God is that way. Some people are downright evil and then claim to know God.

The Bible makes it very clear. God is love. And then it describes love in many words. Love is patient and kind, forgives easily, doesn’t hold grudges, seeks good always etc. How is it then that some people call him the God that will rain fire down and kill you? I never understood that. Jesus came to show us the father in the New Testament.

I remember one place where Jesus went into a city and the people weren’t prepared for him. They treated him so badly, that two of his disciples asked if they should call on fire from heaven to consume them. Jesus’ first response was one of shock, “what?”, he asked. Then he said, “Don’t you know what kind of men you are?”. He was surprised that these men had followed him all this time and still didn’t know him (remind you of some people). He is love.

Could he have rained down fire from heaven? Sure! But that was not who he was. Then you wonder where some Christians get the idea of God raining fire, or destroying their enemies from. First of all, you have no enemies. People are never your enemies. Just because a woman refuses to be controlled by her husband, he begins to pray stupid prayers that go nowhere. Even God does not seek control that’s why he gave everyone the power of choice. He lays out the options, and then you choose.

The truth is that even when you make a mistake. You did something you shouldn’t have done, or said something. As a child  of God, he turns it around to your favor. So you are never disadvantaged. You only feel disadvantaged because you don’t believe that you’re not, and hence you attract the very thing you were afraid of.

Much Love and Laughter!


Listen to Your Heart

Everyone has an in-built guide. It’s a voice, a knowing, a nudge that guides you from danger.

Some people have developed it and some haven’t, but everyone has it.

Listen to your heart. In every issue, listen to your heart. It may save your life.

I know you think you know that person, and you may, but if there’s some red light on the inside of you, why not step back a little?

I cannot count the many times I just felt that something or someone was off. I retreated to evaluate the situation, only to find out that I was right. I couldn’t tell what it was, but I just had some nudging inside, and it has never failed.

I also remember the times I had the nudge and ignored it, only to discover it was right.

If you listen to some people that are in certain situations and happen to make it out alive, there is this common thread, “I felt something was wrong, but couldn’t tell what” or, “something told me this wasn’t right”. There are many variations to it, but the common thing is that they knew deep inside. Listen to your heart.

I read about a Nigerian lady this morning. Her story was so heartbreaking that I started to cry.  I know some people think these things only happen over there, but they do everywhere, it’s just more over there because of the way the women are still looked at as a little less human.

This lady was butchered by her fiancee just because of his insecurities. I am always flabbergasted by the reasoning behind such nonsense. It’s always about their insecurities. My prayers go out to her family. I wish I could say that this is a peculiar situation.

Being in a relationship is not a requirement for living. There’s no need for a relationship that requires you to lay down your life. How many times does someone have to die? Jesus already died so that you can live, why die again? It is so senseless. I don’t even know this woman and it hurts so much.

Listen to your heart women. I could have been a statistic too, but as soon as the light went off inside me, I took action. I wanted to live. I will begin a series to tell my story, maybe it will help someone. Sometimes everything looks okay, but if you get the light on the inside, then everything is not okay.

Listen to your heart!

Everything happens for a …


I hear this phrase often. Just because everybody is saying it doesn’t make it right.

I try to justify the reason behind the many evil things that happen, and no matter how I twist my mind they cannot be justified.

I don’t know about you, but it’s hard for me to accept that phrase. I do however believe that even when things are going wrong, and evil seems to prevail at the moment, we can learn something from it. We are never disadvantaged because even when we make a mistake that cause the bad things to happen, as a child of God, He turns it around to favor us.

Everything doesn’t happen for a reason. People cause things to happen and whether they are good or bad, we can learn from them.

You are never disadvantaged.

Much Love and Laughter!


My Sweet Mother


I have enormous love and respect for my mother. If she lets me, one day, I would like to tell her story. I wrote this for her.

Sweet and tender,

Long-suffering and kind,

No matter the day, issue or time,

You’re always my biggest fan.


Happy Mother’s day to all the mothers out there!

You’re Not Alone

I know it can feel very lonely when you’re going through something. You feel like nobody has ever been in that situation before, and you’re the only one in it.

But you’re not. You’re not alone. Neither are you the only one going through it. I know your mind is constantly telling you that you’re the only one, but you’re not.

Change that recording in your head to say other things to you. Things like, “I’m not alone”, “I’m strong and will come out on top of this”, “Nothing is impossible to me”.

Words alter feelings. As you speak these words, you’ll begin to feel strength and courage rise up inside of you. They were always there just waiting to be stirred up. So stir up yourself.

Then doors will begin to open to you. You’ll begin to see possibilities and opportunities everywhere.

Much love and laughter!


The Value of a Thing

When we go to a store to buy something, we expect to get our money’s worth for the item. If we buy a purse for $50, it means the worth or value of the purse is $50.

Being a christian, I see things based on the Bible. I like to study for myself because experience has taught me to always do my own research. You can’t just put your life in the hands of a person. They are human, and even with the best intentions are bound to make mistakes.

Someone once told me that Christians cannot be feminists. It was a man, and he totally got the meaning wrong, plus in his mind men are superior to women. I had to give him some food for thought.

“Jesus died for the whole world, right?” He agreed.

So I went on to explain.

Well, we both know that John 3:16, says that he died for everyone, men and women. The price he paid was for both men and women. And anyone who believes has eternal life. The same kind of life for both men and women.

So would you say that in the mind of God, women are just as valuable as men? Because I can’t find that place where He sent Jesus to die for men, and then thought, “well, women are not as valuable so let me send an angel to die for them”.

And we know that God is an excellent businessman. You should read the Bible. You’ll find out. He is not going to pay more than a thing is worth, and He knows exactly how much the life of a woman and man mean to Him. He paid the highest and best that He had for both. Then He gave us the Holy Spirit. There isn’t the Holy Spirit for men, and then an inferior one for women because they are of lesser value. In God’s mind, they are of equal value.

So why the difference?

Selah (pause and think about it).



I know. The word has been beaten, misconstrued and misunderstood.

What it’s not:

It doesn’t mean a woman. It can be a man or a woman.

It’s not a curse word.

It doesn’t mean women that hate men.

Neither does it mean that women are superior to men.

The Oxford dictionary defines feminism as the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of equality of the sexes.

I particularly like the way Chimamanda Adichie defines it. She says, “my own definition of a feminist is a man or woman who says, yes, there’s a problem with gender as it is today and we must fix it. We must do better. All of us, women and men, must do better.”

See Chimamanda Adichie’s full video at www.



Creating the Society We Love

One of my younger male friends and I were discussing about the news of domestic violence in Nigeria. I started asking him some questions to see what his thoughts were. I was curious to see if we had made any progress with the younger generation. When he talked about his astonishment with women going back into these same life-threatening situations, and his irritation with people putting the blame on the victim, I was glad that we had made some progress. We talked about the society we created where the roles of men are defined to be oppressive to women.

For example, in the African society, the man and woman may have work outside the home. They both come home. The man sits in front of the television, barks out some orders, and waits to be served. The woman gets home and begins cooking and cleaning. If she has children, God is her help. Because she begins to take care of the children, cook, serve the husband, do homework with the children, feed them, bathe them, put them to bed and then starts cleaning the mess that was left over. She gets to bed exhausted, and of course, the man expects a stellar performance. She gets up the next morning and begins with cooking, getting the children ready for school, and leaving for her outside work. Granted not all men do this, but majority of them do.

And when I say African society, I mean wherever the African is, whether they live in the United States, England and especially Nigeria. Who created these roles, and why should they be followed? Just because a person is a woman does not mean that she automatically comes with domestication in-built. It has to be taught. And if it can be taught to a girl, it can also be taught to a boy. And why does the man think he cannot help in anyway?

I remember many years ago when I was a teenager. I think I was either 16 or 17 years old, but I used to run our home. So I had to make schedules to keep order. We were 6 children, plus a house help. I had to assign different people to do the dishes, cook, clean the table, sweep certain portions, etc. As I was making assignments someone objected to my brothers cooking because they are boys. My response was, “If they can eat, they can cook”. This made my brothers excellent cooks. We all took turns in cooking and cleaning. They grew up not seeing anything wrong with that. After my first brother got married, his wife thanked me a few times for insisting on the cooking thing because he was such a good cook.

I am positive that this change can happen. It is going to take a while for it to completely take over society. I know that the road ahead of us is long, but little by little, inch by inch, we can create a society that we love. Where men and women are treated equally as human beings. It starts with the older people renewing their minds. It starts with educating the younger generation so that they start out with the right mindset. Since we created this society, we can also change this society.

Much love and laughter!

Why the name?

People ask me why I chose the name, Madam Ova Sabi, because it’s often used derogatorily. I tell them that I just love the name. I have been called Madam Ova Sabi more times than I can count. I just chose to claim the name. It is not a derogatory name, in fact, it is associated with being unconventional, knowing more than the average, and choosing to live outside the box that society has created for women.

This is to all the women who want to know more so that they can do and be more. Embrace your Ovasabiness!

Isn’t it usually the one with more wisdom, that works the wisdom, that leads? There’s a leader in you. Choose you live your life to the fullest and refuse the limitations of society.

An incident happened to my best friend in Calabar. She was in traffic for longer than usual, so she stuck her head out of her window to see what the problem could be. Here comes this man trying to demean her, he didn’t know that she’s one person you can’t put down. He said, “Madam ova sabi, when you suppose get driver you won show you fit drive”. In her usual self, she snapped back, “Nonsense, na penis dem dey use drive, no be hand?” It was hilarious and sad at the same time. Funny because he was shocked at her snap back. Sad because at this time society should have been way ahead of this backward mindset.

When someone calls you the name derogatorily, don’t take offense, own it. You can’t be put down unless you let them.

Much love and laughter.